Back to Blogging

Since my last post in 2010, a lot has happened in my life, most notably my amazing daughter Hayden was born on September 16th, 2010. Being a Dad is an amazing feeling and an exciting addition to my life.

Hayden is 19 months old now and is growing up fast. She can say a ton of words already, understand what is going on, operate an iPhone like a boss, and has the best temperament of any baby I have ever seen. She could very well be the best baby in the World, just saying. There should be a Guinness Book of World Record for the 'Best Baby in the World' and have some sort of judging panel. Hayden would own that mess like it was apple sauce in the morning.

Anyhow, other slightly less notable mentions would be falling in and out of love and feeling the pains of that. I had my beloved toaster oven rear-ended (my Scion xB) and had to get a new truck (Dodge Nitro). I sold my old pontoon boat and got a new one. I traveled to Bermuda, San Francisco and Boston all in the span of about two months.

That pretty much catches you up on the last year of missed blogs.

Where should I go from here with this blog? I joined a website called www.DayZeroProject.com (http://dayzeroproject.com/user/hunterwilson/list/49457) by the suggestion of a great new friend I met. It is a website that lets you list 101 things you wish to do within the next 1001 days. Simple concept but for some reason when you write down goals, especially in a public forum, it seems like you are more apt to actually accomplish them! Neat concept.

I will throw in some random thought blogs and complete waste of your time blogs here and there as well.

Stay thirsty my friends...

Last Night's Dream

Have you ever had a dream that started out great and then slowly turned into total despair, so much so that it woke you up?

That was my dream last night.

I am usually not the type of person to analyze my dreams or think about them too much. Your subconscious can be a crazy thing and I don't think Fraud had any clue when he thought he could analyze dreams... However, that being said, last night's dream really made me think.

Like all dreams, this is going to sound completely weird and strange. My memory of the dream is fairly vivid (which is unusual) but there are some spotty details.

The Dream:
From the beginning of what I can remember, I am driving around in this yellow Ferrari or something. I am driving somewhere in a quickness, like I have to rush to get there. This part of the dream gets weird because it seems like I hit all sorts of obstacles on my way to trying to get to where ever I was going, wrong turns, etc.

The obstacles were not that bothersome because I seemed to be so excited to get to where I was going. I still didn't know where that was at the time. I was extremely happy at this point in the dream. I was driving fast, in a fancy car... I was the man.

Eventually I pull up to this little house, cute homey looking place but really small. Small front yard, steps up to the house, one story house. I go in...

The dream gets really vague here so I will just lay out the scenario instead of a play by play.

At this point there are two women and a little girl in the house. One of the women in the room was my wife, so I thought, and the little girl was apparently my daughter. At this point in the dream, I honestly felt like I have never loved something as much as I loved this woman. It was so vivid I can't even describe it.

(Let me describe her real quick: this woman was petite, about my height, blond, with shoulder length hair that kind of curls up at the end or does a little whip thing. She obviously ran the household. Was a spunky little thing that knew how to run things. She was beautiful. I mean like incredibly beautiful. Not in the supermodel kind of way, but in the I love this woman more than anything kind of beautiful.)

Ok, moving on.

So, I am in this house with these two women and this little girl. I am playing around with the little girl like I haven't seen her in ages. The other woman, not my apparent wife, is obviously weary of me. I don't know why at this point but I was ignoring it. I was in total bliss anyhow at this point. I honestly don't think I have ever been as happy as I felt at this point in the dream. I remember playing with the girl and looking up at my wife and having this sensation that I can't put into words. It was amazing.

This is where it all falls apart.

Randomly, and I mean this is really random, the guy from the movie A-Team comes in (Bradley Cooper). I am like WTF. Come to find out, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and obviously had deep feelings for, was HIS wife! I was just the ex! The little girl was mine but apparently I never see her.

The dream goes on and gets spottier from this point on but the woman I was in love with tells me I wasn't there enough, etc etc. and she had to move on. I now realized why the other woman in the room was weary of me. Apparently, I had shown up out of no where.

I come to realize I had lost my 'dream girl' (ironic use of words) and on top of that I realize that I was a shitty father.

I leave the house in utter despair, like there was no where to go. I remember looking at the car, thinking how stupid it was, and wondered where would I go?

Then I woke up.

When I woke up, my chest hurt! I was that moved by this totally random dream.

I woke up around 7am and sat there for hours thinking about this dream. It was quite possibly the most vivid dream I have had in a really long time! I did not know what it meant or what I should take from it.

Was this my subconscious trying to tell me something, or was this just random thoughts floating around that mean absolutely nothing?

Pacific

I am watching the new HBO miniseries, Pacific. It is the sequel to Band of Brothers and depicts the Pacific front of World War 2. Graphic would be an understatement. Tom Hanks really knows how to get you right in the action.

Maybe I live in a different time, different world, but I can not imagine how those men brought themselves to handle the things that are shown in this series. To be able to not only volunteer to go to war, but to be brave enough to fight like they did is unbelievable.

I have never been a fighter. I get nauseous just thinking about a confrontation or causing someone else pain. I can not imagine having the strength to handle being in the situation those men were.

Granted, I don't think anyone really knows their true capabilities until a challenge is put in front of them. Something like a war would challenge everything about you. How would I react? Would I triumph over my fears or be swallowed by them?

The crazy thing that bothers me most is the majority of the men were only 18! I am almost 30 and still feel like an infant in comparison...